If you tell me "You're so lucky you get summers off" I will likely come at you with all the crayola's I've whittled into little rainbow shivs. And you'd be surprised how much those hurt.
Not that I know.
There are many reasons why I would react so violently. But one has recently made the top of my list.
You might think it's the 60+ hours a week I work.
Or possibly the hundreds I spend of my own money on classroom supplies.
Maybe it's the simple fact that I am with kids 7 hours a day without a break.
Well, you're wrong. WRONG.
It's teacher bladder.
Symptoms of teacher bladder include:
Peeing a little when you sneeze or cough.
The ability for your bladder to take fluids, and filter them back into your body so that you are never thirsty.
The ability to hold your pee all day long but mysteriously having a pea sized bladder once 3:30 hits.
Getting up and peeing every hour at night because you didn't.pee.all.day.long.
and the ultimate symptom: chronic UTI's.
Oh yes people. I'm on UTI #2 this year.
I NEED my summers off to get my pee schedule back on track, lest my bladder shrivel up and water simply goes in one hole and out the other.
They don't tell you this in teacher school.
5 snarks:
they have this thing, called the catheter. Maybe you could hook one up to a bag, strap it to your leg and wear baggy pants. In other news I had never ever thought of this before. -Kristina
Yet another reason to add to my "I've decided not to go into teaching" path...I drink way too much water to be a teacher. Like, I need to buy stock in every brand of toilet paper known to man. I keep Charmin in business because of how much I pee.
UTIs are the WORST.
I hate UTI's - it's like trying to pee hot, wet sand. My heart goes out to you. The logic of blaming teachers for *any* state's fiscal crisis is beyond me - they must have horrible observational skills. Perhaps a little "pain sharing" would sharpen their focus. Hmmm - I have a box of unused crayons somewhere... Could you use some more shivs?
Sister! Oh my god, ready for this? There's actually a name for this syndrome, and I know, because I have it. It's called Floppy Bladder Syndrome, or so says my doctor. It essentially means that you've stretched your bladder out from holding it in too much, but now the walls of your bladder are thinner and weaker. I spent years practically living in a leotard, which makes peeing an epic pain in the ass, so I trained myself to not feel the "I have to pee" sensation until it's convenient (ie, usually when I get home.) But then when I did get home, all of a sudden it's a photo finish. If I may offer some suggestions? First off, they make cranberry pills that can really help with the UTIs. You can get them at any major drugstore, and they really clear things up when I start to feel UTIy. Secondly, I know it's counter-intuitive, but try drinking more water, it actually makes for a healthy, happier bladder. And pee every chance you get. Don't have to go? Go anyway. And I'd try to get a handle on this, because believe me when I say that this syndrome can have some extremely...erm...uncomfortable symptoms if you let it go on for too long!
Yep, that's the truth. I had two this year-and that's with a portable that has an ATTACHED BATHROOM. It's amazing how much time you should get for basic needs like eating and peeing which instead gets taken up dealing with those pesky students, or worse, their parents.
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