My niece is turning one this week.
So, needless to say, the fam-diddly-dango is throwing the biggest theme party EVE-AH. Courtesy of my Mom, the overboard grandma.
Of course because of this, we are talking about theme parties and the things our moms did for us on our first birthdays at Mr. M's parents house today.
Mama M says she was so worried about feeding Mr. M chocolate, so she made blueberry cheesecake only to have HER mom give him a big ole piece of chocolate cake when he got to grandma's house. And she realized that none of us really have control over anything anyway.
And my mom says, SHE SAYS,
"I gave Honest to Christina her first french fry on her first birthday."
and we all laugh.
She goes on,
"Actually, we didn't have a birthday party for you, HtC."
we all stop and look at her.
Mama M says,
"whoops, guess the cat's out of the bag...."
And I look at my MOTHER, shock in my eyes. BETRAYAL in my heart and say,
"I'm sorry, WHAT?! I never had a first birthday party?!"
"Nope" She says.
"I took you to burger king, got a kids meal for us to share, and you had your first french fry. Actually you ate most of my meal."
She seems to STILL be holding this against me.
"WHERE WAS DAD?" I asked.
"I dunno. It was a long time ago." She said.
I looked at her. She looked at me. I reiterated,
"I NEVER HAD A FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY?"
She looked at me, and said matter of fact,
"No. But you had a first french fry. You're Welcome."
I know what I want for my next birthday. I want a first birthday party. I want a cake to smash. I want a theme. I want a bunch of adults to stand around ohhing and ahhing over me while I coo and toddle around. Except I'll be toddling and cooing because I am drunk, not because I am learning to walk & talk. I WANT A FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY.
Also, I want all the french fries to myself. I can't believe she made me share.
6 snarks:
That is hilarious. I'm afraid to ask my mom if I had a first birthday party. All the stories I hear of my toddlerhood boarder on scary.
My first solid food was an orange popsicle. Thanks, dad.
You HAVE to have a first birthday party. You can sit in a high chair with your shirt off while people shove cake in your face and then you can throw a huge fit because of over-stimulation. It will be EPIC.
I agree with Stevie, plus you need a bib, and maybe you can slip n' slide into your cake to approximate the smashage needed. -Kristina
I am now wondering if you only ever got birthday parties because we shared them. did we share our second birthday party? we were hanging out by then. I know I had a 1st birthday party. maybe your mom caved to the pressure by the time we were two.
here's to identical cakes and dresses! :)
at least if you have a first birthday now you might remember it! (well if you drink too much you might not remember it all but still) so really I think having a first birthday now would be super fun!
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